In Your Presence

Today,

I walked into your house

for the first time since

you went away…

I looked for you,

but you weren’t in

the usual places – on the porch, in the den,

or in the kitchen.

I thought maybe you were upstairs

napping, or out

running an errand…

I looked at your flowers – the roses, and peonies,

the poppies and irises – in bloom in the garden.

I stood at your kitchen sink

washing the plates – the dish cloth and dish soap

in their usual places.

We all sat out on the porch after lunch, watching

all three boys, brothers and cousins

running and rolling

down the hill and all over the

backyard, just like we used to do

as kids.

I flipped through

your old Better Homes & Garden magazines,

ideas I ripped out, wishing I could

share them with you.

I went upstairs, the steps

creaking in the familiar spots,

I looked in your room,

I walked over to your dresser,

Maman helped me look in a draw,

through some of your things,

I remember seeing these pinned to you dress,

And these hanging from your earlobes.

This one wrapped around your wrist.

I picked a poinsetta brooch and a daisy one.

I found your Disney daisy Mickey watch

that I gave you when I used to work there…

Your absence was acute, your presence was lingering,

your spirit was intoxicating.

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