I walked into your house
for the first time since
you went away…
I looked for you,
but you weren’t in
the usual places – on the porch, in the den,
or in the kitchen.
I thought maybe you were upstairs
napping, or out
running an errand…
I looked at your flowers – the roses, and peonies,
the poppies and irises – in bloom in the garden.
I stood at your kitchen sink
washing the plates – the dish cloth and dish soap
in their usual places.
We all sat out on the porch after lunch, watching
all three boys, brothers and cousins
running and rolling
down the hill and all over the
backyard, just like we used to do
I flipped through
your old Better Homes & Garden magazines,
ideas I ripped out, wishing I could
share them with you.
I went upstairs, the steps
creaking in the familiar spots,
I looked in your room,
I walked over to your dresser,
Maman helped me look in a draw,
through some of your things,
I remember seeing these pinned to you dress,
And these hanging from your earlobes.
This one wrapped around your wrist.
I picked a poinsetta brooch and a daisy one.
I found your Disney daisy Mickey watch
that I gave you when I used to work there…
Your absence was acute, your presence was lingering,
your spirit was intoxicating.